Colombians have a way with words and a particular brand of sarcasm when it comes to comparing one thing with another. Here are the nation’s funniest comparatives but, beware, there are some comparisons you definitely don’t want to hear:
Más aburrido que un mico en un bonsai
If someone is “more bored than a monkey in a bonsai tree” life is very dull indeed.
Más contento que un marrano estrenando lazo
But if you’re “happier than a pig in a new bowtie” things are looking up.
Más peligroso que caldo de anzuelos
Caldo is a much-loved soup, watch out if something is “more dangerous than a caldo made with hooks”.
Más prendido que arbolito de Navidad
If a friend is “more lit up than a Christmas tree,” they may have had a drink or three.
Más ordinario que lechuga en florero
What on earth could be “tackier than lettuce in a vase”?
Más raro que un perro a cuadros
Or “weirder than a checkered dog”?
Más ordinario que taxi con registradora
You would have to go a long way to find something “tackier than a taxi with a till”
Más ordinario que monja vendiendo chance
And the same goes for something “tackier than a nun selling lottery tickets”.
Más largo que una semana sin carne
If something is “longer than a week without meat,” it’s long indeed.
Más claro no canta un gallo
And if a “cockerel couldn’t sing it any clearer” it was made pretty obvious.
Más ordinario que fríjoles con champaña
What could be “tackier than beans with champagne”?
Más raro que una sandía con huesos
Or “weirder than a watermelon with bones”?
Más feo que un carro visto por debajo
If something is “uglier than the underside of a car” it’s not looking good.
Más contento que cachaco en playa
Few are “happier than a cachaco at the beach.” Cachacos come from Colombia’s interior.
Más contento que MacGyver en Homecenter
Who could be “happier than MacGyver in Homecenter”, a reference to fictional 1980s secret agent Angus MacGuyver, who solved complex problems with household objects. Homecenter is one of Colombia’s most popular DIY stores.
Más desubicado que un perro en un trasteo
What could be more disorientated and out of place than a “dog on a moving day”?
Más perdido que Papá Noel en mayo
Or more absent or lost than “Father Christmas in May”?
Más viejo que la panela
“Older than panela”? Has anything been around longer than the country’s prized, unrefined whole cane sugar?
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